Vindobona Hash House Harriers

Vindobona H3 Masthead for November 2008 to October 2009

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For those of you wonder what the hell all those people on the Masthead really do, here is a description of what each person is supposed to do. Where there is more than one name mentioned, the first name is reponsible for the function and the other stand in when he or she is absent. These responsibilities sometimes change depending on who is holding the post and how much they are prepared to do. The GM reserves the right to create or abolish posts, and co-opt people onto the Masthead during the year in order to keep the Hash going. Remember the Hash has no constitution, except the one tradition - the GM is always right.

Grand Master - Norman "Stormin' Norman" Randall

Make sure everybody else does their job properly, and be prepared to stand in for any of the others in an emergency. Organize the down-downs at the end of each run, assisted by the Religious Advisor. Organize regular meetings of the Masthead to discuss problems and sort out responsibilities. When things go wrong, gets all the blame, and when things go right, gets none of the credit, just beer on his or her head.

Vice Grand Mattress - Marty "Squeeze Box Mama" Davidson

Stand in for the GM when the GM is absent, indisposed or drunk (i.e. most of the time).

Religious Adviser - Iain "Richard Kopf" Paterson (aka 'XX_RARK') supported by Ex-RA - Arthur Henry "Munk" Munkenbeck III, (aka 'Monasticus Consuasor'), supported by Don "Multiple Entry" Gautier and Oliver "Dr O. K'unt" Androsch

In co-operation with the GM, the RA (and his supporting cast) conducts the Circle and decides who get the Down-Downs. Keeps an eye out for those who commit Hash Crimes, e.g. shortcutting, not wearing a Hash T-Shirt, talking when the GM or RA is talking, new shoes or car or baby etc.

Hash Lash - Karl "Mind the Gap" Bryk

Finds Hares to set the runs and gets locations from them, so that it can be put in the Haschedule in plenty of time. Responsible for creating the Haschedule and sending an electronic version to the Hash Web Master for putting up on VH3 Web Site.

All Hashers are responsible for volunteering to set runs and coming up with good locations and letting the On-On Sec know about events coming up.

Hash Cash, Hash Web Master & International Contacts - John "Glo-Balls" Russell

Ass Hash Cash - Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhumer and Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski

Collects the weekly run fee from each runner and marks down their presence on the sheets used to keep statistics. Collects the annual membership subscription and membership form. Maintains mailing list and run statistics. Collects any money for special events and pay any bills resulting, reimburse Hash Beer for the cost of the beer and soft drinks provided at each run, reimburse any other expenses incurred by other members of the Masthead, e.g. postage costs, on production of receipts. Keeps the accounts and prepares a written statement for the AGM.

For historical reasons, corresponds with other Hashes and Harrier International and acts as main contact point for visiting Hashers. Also maintains the VH3 Web Site and Yahoo! Groups Mailing List.

Hash Scribe - Karl "Marie Tamponette" Siegl

Responsible for selecting/volunteering someone to write-up each run, and making sure it is done and photocopied by the next run. Usually ends up writing the Re-Hash most of the time.

Hash Beer - The Hare

The Hare makes sure that enough cold beer, wine and soft drinks are available at the end of each run, to slake the thirst of the pack.

Please note the change of policy (since the AGM on 7 November 1999) which makes the Hare responsible for making sure enough beer is there.

Hash Haberdasher - Martin "Tickpleaser"Nicholson and Michael "Joystick" Schifter

Responsible for arranging the printing of T-shirts and any other mementos as the Masthead decides. Set up shop after each run and sell as many T-shirts as possible.

Hash Media Moron - Alex "My Pint of View" Schifter

Takes photos at runs and special events. Organizes them into albums and circulates these from time to time. Administers a service to proved copies of any of the photos to Hashers. On special request, for a very large fee, will destroy the negative and undertake not to distribute the photograph.

Hash Fun - Marty "Squeeze Box Mama" Davidson and Robert "NoBalls Prize" Duberg

Responsible for organising parties and social events in addition to the regular meetings of the Hash.

Hash International Rescue - Pablo "G-String" Schramm

Reliable in a crisis, well-known for rescuing Hashers stranded on a precipice.

Hash Song - Christoph "Alice" Ollmann, Roland "Deodorant" Mayr and Jim "Septic Yank" Matschi

Brings old songs to the Hash and conducts the singing at a check half way round the run and in the Circle at the end of the run.

Hash Doktor and Nurse - Oliver "Dr O. K'Unt" Androsch, Linda "Lady Go Diver" Scotts and Yumiko "Joy Ride" Kamogawa-Schifter

Take care of any medical emergencies, e.g. the Hash running out of beer.

Lucky Luciano and his Gay Caballeros (was Vienna Queer Boys Choir) - Membership Fluid (or full of fluid?)

This is a special group of Vienna Hashers who take it upon themselves to lead the singing in the circle at certain times. At other times they seem to be singing against the rest of us! Members include Munk, Marie Tamponette, Pimpsqueak, Multiple Entry and Glo-Balls (honorary). Definitely not Mind the Gap.

Hash Horn - Ron "Free Willie" Willis and Richard "Irate Rover" McLaughlin

Custodian of the Vindobona Horn. Ensures that the Horn is present at every Hash. Blows the horn frequently during the run, especially when the On-On is called, so that no Hashers are lost. In November 2008, "Deo" donated a new horn for this post.

Special additional responsibility of this post (only applies to Free Willie) - Not allowed to tell jokes, run through checks or come first.

Sex Mistress - Birgit "Root C Anal" Loewert and Saw Hua "Standing There" Pui

Sex Master - Heidi "Kun't Tell Ya" Peschl, Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski and Peter "MOM" Herger

Responsible to provide "entertainment" at Hash events.

Hash Naming Committee = The GM and the RA (ex-officio), Christina "Casting Couch" Androsch, Linda "Lady Go Diver" Scotts, Arthur Henry "Munk" Munkenbeck III, Jim "Septic Yank" Matschi, Michael "The Famous Pimpsqueak" Schleiss, and Don "Multiple Entry" Gautier

This committee was set up at the Hash AGM on 7 November 1999 to give some responsibility to a group of Hashers to come up with good names. This should avoid the problem in the past of a Hasher reaching 25 runs without a name.

At the AGM in November 2003, the following new positions were created :-

Hash Pourers - Herwig "Moosehead" Greschonig, Peter "Mind over Matter (MOM)" Herger and Alex "My Pint of View" Schifter

This is a very important position as the holders of the office have to keep pouring the beer so that the RA is never short of a mug of beer to give out as a down-down.

Hash Crush Holder - Horst "Slush Puppie" Hoellhumer

Crushes cans and eggs against certain unmentionable projections from Ice Queen's body.

Hash Hound - Circle Jerk, Nico and Villia

The only members of the Hash who are allowed to behave like animals and get away with it. Required to keep quiet and not bark during the circle.

The following special position created at the November 2004 AGM :-

Hash Piefke: Ralph "King Ralph" Weber

This Hasher is required to attempt to bring German efficiency and orderliness (ordentlichkeit) to the Hash (good luck with that!).

Full Moon Masthead

Full Moon GM - Michael "Joystick" Schifter

Full Moon Assistant GM of Vice - Christina "Casting Couch" Androsch

Responsible for discipline on the Full Moon Hash (yet another oxymoron!).

Full Moon "R" - Dagmar "Ice Queen" Atynski and "A" - Matthew "Sex-O-Phone" Stent

Full Moon Sex Mistress - Natascha "Afterglow (My Sister's Glowing K'unt)" Androsch

At the Hash AGM on 5 November 2000, it was agreed to set up a sub-chapter of VH3 to organize a Vindobona Full Moon Hash on a regular basis. This Hash would have its own GM and RA, but share all other facilities with VH3 (e.g. Hash Beers, Hash Cash, the Mailing List, Web Site and Bank Account etc.).

The Full Moon GM is responsible for setting the dates, finding Hares and locations, and supplying all details to the VH3 On-On Sec and Webmaster for publication. The Full Moon GM and RA act as GM and RA only on the Vindobona Full Moon Hash and not on the normal VH3 Runs.

The original GM was Mr. Bob Davolino and the original RA was No Mercy Master.

Travelling Hashburgs Masthead

Travelling Hashburg Kaiser - Glenn "Needleman" Sibbitt

At the AGM in November 2001, it was decided that the group which regularly travels to Hashes in nearby countries had become an official group within VH3 known as the Vienna Travelling Hashburgs. Furthermore, Needleman had become the de facto Kaiser of this group and therefore he was elected to this position. His main duties are to co-ordinate the travel of VH3 Hashers to Hashes near to Austria.

The Travelling Grand Maitresse - Molly "Sure Likes to Ball" Hellmuth

In May of 2002 the GM (Marie Tamponette) declared the the Inauguration of Sure Likes to Ball as The Travelling Grand Matress. This lovely and sexy-looking Harriette moved to the Netherlands and then Denmark and in order to give our mainly male dominated Travelling Hashburgs and the rest of the ordinary Masthead a slightly more feminine touch, Sure Likes to Ball is now destined to spread to the word to all the cloggies (and wherever she goes to apart from there) that we are the World's Worst Hash. She will have the full powers of a travelling GM (as long as she stays away from us) but she won't be allowed to wear a hat in the circle. Furthermore, The Travelling Grand Matress (ad personam) from now on signifies an official part of our Masthead, so long as she remains as far away as possible from Vienna.

Subsequently, at the suggestion of the RA (xx-rark), it was decided to change the title to The Travelling Grand Maitresse.

The Travelling Sex Mistresses - Eileen "Boottlegg Sister" Mulcahy-Sibbit and Adriana "Road Runner" Randall

At the AGM in November 2004, it was decided that the real representatives of the Vienna Travelling Hashburgs (who have attended more events outside Vienna than any other Hashers) needed proper recognition, so these special positions of the Travelling Sex Mistresses were created.

New Moon Masthead

On 27 November 2003, the first run of the New Moon Hash took place starting from the Votiv Kirche in Vienna, Austria. The following officers were elected :-

New Moon GM - Peter "Matter over Mind (MOM)" Herger

New Moon RAs - Don "Multiple Entry" Gautier

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